Assertiveness is often confused with aggression. People think that assertiveness means getting what you want, rather than reaching the best possible conclusion for all concerned.

Its the same when we grow up and go to work. Aggressive managers are authoritarian and rarely listen to reason   argument. They bully staff into taking on ludicrous workloads or targets which cannot possibly be delivered. They then get angry, rant and rave when these targets are not met.

• Intimidated
• Frightened
• Being controlled
• Losing control and starting to play the game by their rules
• Embarrassed
• Inadequate.

Like passivity, being aggressive is a  short-term approach to conflict. It may 'solve' the immediate problem by achieving the desired result and give an initial feeling of elation and power.

However, in the long term , most aggressive individuals will experience as many doubts as the passive person. It is likely they will start feeling guilty about their behaviour. They may expect the colleague they have vanquished to get their own back and so become defensive and constantly on the alert. Indeed, that may not be an unrealistic expectation. In the long run, aggression tends to provoke further aggression.

Most people know that if they tell their managers to get knotted, they may provoke a major argument, or even get to collect. They don't need to worry when dealing with subordinates or those with no direct control over their work. Or do they? It is easy to lose respect for someone who constantly loses his / her temper. That can have damaging consequences for such a person's reputation within the company, regardless of how fair that judgement is.

Aggression in the workplace leads to sickness, absenteeism, low morale and more errors- the very things that managers spend their lives trying to prevent.

• Ignoring/ dismissing the needs, opinions, feelings or beliefs of others - Your feelings are far more important. Managers adopting this approach tend to lose the respect of their staff and may often miss out on vital information or ideas which could benefit their business.
• Expressing your own needs, wants, opinions in inappropriate ways
• You have rights, other people don't - a dangerous premise likely to result in never-ending disputes. This attitude can be especially damaging when managing people, for example when you need to persuade someone to take on more responsibility.
• You have something to contribute - no one else does. Again, this myopic approach leads to missed opportunities.
• Body language and vocal approach - Could be to shout or act dramatically, towering over people, bearing down on them or restricting the space they occupy, or perhaps excessive sarcasm.
• Violating the rights of others - whether these are personal, social or set out in a person's terms of appointment, everyone is entitled to and has rights.

Skills Tests -> The Assertiveness Inventory -> Aggressive Behaviour